The Etiquettes Of Marriage And Wedding

The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur’ân:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allâh. For Allâh loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Al-Baqarah, 2:222]

There are also hadîth about this, among them:

a.. First:

“ “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad ﷺ.”

b.. Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, who said:

“When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet ﷺ was asked about this, and Allâh revealed the verse:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, …”

Then the Prophet ﷺ said:

“ “Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself.” The Jews said: “This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different.” Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: “O Messenger of Allâh ﷺ, verily the Jews says such-and-such, should we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?” The Prophet’s ﷺ face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them.” [Muslim, Abu ‘Auwâna and Abu Dâwûd].

The Penitence of One who Has Sex during Menses

Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar’s weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based on a hadîth narrated by ‘Abdullâh ibn ‘Abbâs from the Prophet ﷺ in relation to one who enters his wife while she is on her period as follows:

“ “Let him give one dinar in charity, or one half dinar.” [At-Tirmidhî, Abu Dawûd, At-Tabarâni and others: Sahîh].

What is Permissible when She is on her Periods

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadîth s about this: First: “and do everything except intercourse itself.”[Muslim, Abu ‘Auwâna and Abû Dâwûd] Second: On the authority of ‘Â’ishah who said:

“ “When we were on our periods, the Prophet ﷺ used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her.” One time she said: “… her husband can then fondle and caress her.” [al-Bukhârî, Muslims and others].

Third: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ who said:

“ “When the Prophet ﷺ wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted.” [Abo Dâwûd: Sahîh]

When is it Allowed to resume Sexual Activity after Menses?

When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhû’, or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allâh’s statement in the Qur’ân:

“But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allâh. For Allâh loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Al-Baqarah 2:222]

This is the position of Ibn Hazm, ‘Atâ, Qatadah, al-Awzâ’î and Dâwud az-Zâhirî and of Mujâhid: as Ibn Hazm says:

“All three of these are a purification – so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband.”

The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Âyah revealed concerning the people of Qubâ:

“In it are men who love to be purified; and Allâh loves those who make themselves pure.” [at-Tawbah 9:108]

There is nothing here in the Âyah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Âyah in question to any of the three meanings – and to do so requires a further proof.

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